Deep in 300 Hundred Acre Woods, where Dave Grohl and Foo Fighters will play, you'll find an enchanted neighborhood, with 80,000 others' reliving their childhood days

A word to the wise, in its' inaugural year Firefly Music Festival only spanned 87 acres of the Woodlands; now, it encompasses 300 acres, so the following is just not ho-hum advice from a festival fan and Delaware native, but things that could help save your life and keep your sanity while you traverse the 300 acres with 80,000+ people.

To enter:
-your Firefly wristband
-cash
-credit/debit card
-Government issued photo I.D.


What to pack daily in your small carrybag (16"x16"x8"):
1.  Empty Bottle for water. Stay hydrated.
2.  A sandwich bag with toilet tissue or Kleenex. Better to be safe than having to use leaves to wipe     your arse.
3. Flip flops/Sandals and an extra pair of socks.  Do not wear these on your way in, bring them to change into when you are halfway through your day and decide to take a break. Then switch back into your other comfortable shoes (*recommended-sneakers, Wellingtons/rainboots, Docs)
4. Bandaids and Moleskins.  300 acres is lots of walking no matter what shoes you have decided to wear. Do not rely on all the first aid stations and EMTs to fix your blisters, they have plenty of other serious issues to deal with than boo boo blisters.
5. Trash bag or poncho.  A trash bag is my version of a makeshift poncho, it serves two purposes though...as poncho, or just to keep your butt clean and dry when you decide to take a nap on the ground while listening to a concert.
6. Wet Ones.  Sanitize.
7. Suntan lotion and a hat/bandana.  Yes it is in the woods, but also open fields, where you are exposed to the sun. Keep yourself protected and *remember no aerosol suntan lotion permitted inside.
8. Bug repellent (no aerosol).

Be prepared for the Woodlands!  As a Delaware native and local, I can assure you that it has rained the entire week prior to Firefly, what that means for Firefly fans is this:
-MUD- do not try to look cute, dress comfortably.  For women this means put aside your sandals and grab those Wellington rainboots, Crocs, Birkenstocks and sneakers. Also, last year we had rain prior to the festival and to prevent an area from becoming a muddy mess, a lot of mulch was put down (this area had a pungent smell and made you feel like you were walking drunk even when you had not had a sip of alcohol).  *Your pretty little shoes will get ruined, you will get blisters, you may even sprain your ankle...so take this advice and DO NOT spend 4 days walking 300 acres with a sore ankle.

-MOSQUITOES AND OTHER BUGS- when we have large amounts of rain you can expect it creates large breeding grounds for bugs, particularly mosquitoes.  Prepare yourself, invest in bug spray. *Do not worry mixed with your coconut suntan lotion you won't stink. Well, at least not until day 3, but it won't be for this reason.

-CAMPING PEEPS- bring extra jugs and bottles of water to wash off with...yes there are showers, but you may have to walk long distances and wait in long lines to get them. Some Wet Ones could help in this predicament too.

-HUMIDITY- Delaware gets pretty humid, by that I mean that an 80 degree day can quickly feel like 100 degrees.  Just imagine walking around with a wet towel laying just an inch above your face and the steam smothering you, another reason to stay hydrated.

-FOOD- I am sure you have stocked up on all your favorite junk food, but you may want to pack a few things like bananas, granola bars and crackers.  I cannot stress enough to stay hydrated...I watch fans drop every year to dehydration and heat exhaustion. In between your alcohol consumption remember to refuel your water bottle at the refilling stations and you could also get a blast of fresh berry and fruit goodness at Greenman Juice Bar (*this is not only my sister-in-law, Rachel and brother-in-law, Jeremy's juice bar, but their juices are chocked full of nutrients and vitamins that your party-going body needs in these conditions).

Lastly, be courteous to everyone!  Be mindful, not everyone is prepared as they think they are for an event like this...you are sharing the Woodlands with 80,000+ other people.  Remember to thank all the event staff: Red Frog, the musicians, the volunteers, the vendors, as well as all the Delaware staff involved- EMTs, police officers, DelDOT, and all the Delawareans who are sharing this part of their state with you! (I apologize now for anyone I left out, please feel free to add in the comments).

Now, download the Firefly app, make your schedule and have fun!

Secretly I am an SNL writer

Okay so I admit I'm not a writer for SNL and realistically probably never will be, but a girl can always dream right? And why not dream big?


Some people listen to music and have a groove session, and yeah sometimes I throw on a old skool cd, like Hole and belt out, "And the sky was made of amethyst and all the stars were just like little fish". (And then I hate myself for a minute, because I realize I am singing along to the woman I believe is at least partly responsible for the death of hero, Kurt Cobain). I realize I have a shit voice, which I  have accepted.  I still sing anyway, because a wise uncle told me (Thomas Callahan), it is good for the soul.  But then there are those times where my dreams collide it occurs when the music ignites my writing soul.  That is when I whip up these antics and dream up surreal SNL skits-that make  my soul burn with laughter.


Recently I shared one on my Facebook page, which was brought on by Beastie Boys "Boomin' Granny".  Most people know Beastie Boys for their more popular songs like "Brass Monkey" and "Fight for Your Right". Beastie Boys were amazing- in one word their success screams- IRONY.  I mean thinking back on it, who would have ever paired these New York Jewish rappers on Madonna's "Like a Virgin Tour"? Yeah, that is one of those silly facts I know...and yes, yes they did open for Madonna.  And I say, "were" amazing, because sadly, Adam Yauch aka MCA, passed away in 2012.


Now speaking of Jewish rappers, Andy Samberg brought to SNL some witty and amazing raps on SNL digital shorts.  So when I am listening to "Boomin' Granny" on my way into work and thinking about how awesome the upcoming SNL is going to be because Jimmy Fallon is hosting and Justin Timberlake is the musical guest, I can't help but envision them doing this skit of "Boomin' Granny" with special guest, Betty White as the granny (for so many reasons, and if you have seen her host SNL you know one of them) and bringing on, Andy Samberg, Fallon and Timberlake as the Beastie Boys.  There would be so much "good n' plenty" I think I seriously would have peed my big girl panties.


Now with that story explained I must now explain my most recently invented skit after watching 47 Ronin.  First of all I must explain that I don't know what kind of contract Keanu Reeves' manager/agent was able to secure for him for this film, because well let's just say his character is a completely Disney-fied made up piece of bullshit to the original Ronin story.  Anyway I admit when my husband showed interest in seeing this film I was a little apprehensive, but I'm drawn to stories of Asian cultures (I'm known to watch obscure Korean, Japanese and Chinese movies with subtitles, including Monkey-just imagine an Asian version of Xena, but about a boy named Monkey).  I watched the trailers and thought okay, it might not be that bad, and I am warning you now, do not be tricked as I was...the cinematography and special effects are brilliant, but the story falls short. 


Now I won't spoil the film or the story, just say that as you can imagine this story is filled with fight scenes, one of which includes a character who is a little on the chubby side having a death scene and Reeves' character sitting by his bedside.  The chubby character tells Kai (Reeves), who is an outcast of the village and lives in a hut that he is sorry for throwing stones at his head when they were children.  And Kai in a serious tone replies, "I always knew it was you, I could see your belly sticking out from the tree".  Now what is funny is that this is not just out of place humor in the film, but that it became quite obvious to me that Reeves' training for this film seemed to be drinking beer and was a little chubby himself.  Now I am not one to poke fun at weight, as I have always struggled with my own weight, however, if you are going to create a blockbuster film, you need your star actor to look the part.  Reeves did not look fit at all for this film. I'm just saying it is like the difference between Christian Bale and Michael Keaton playing Batman...do you get my meaning? 


So when the film ended and we were discussing our thoughts on the film, I shared how ridiculous I thought that part was...and said seriously I could so see this being a commercial trailer on SNL.  I could see Kenan Thompson playing the chubby character dying and a guest host, maybe even Reeves himself, play Kai. But having the dying character reply why he wasn't cast for his role as Kai.  It is seriously like when Mark Wahlberg delivers a line in a film, that if anyone else said it, it would just sound completely disjointed and wrong, but because Wahlberg says it, it comes across badass.


I know this blog is all over the place, but to understand how I get to these SNL skits, you have to have some back story here and there.  And yes, if you are wondering I have submitted skits in the past to SNL via email.  If any of you remember the T-Mobile commercial  a few Christmases ago promoting 4G with a bunch of elves and found yourself doing a double take of the television to clarify that you didn't just hear little elves on your TV saying "Orgy" you were not alone.  I wrote to SNL saying I could totally see them creating an SNL commercial, like the Fifty Shades of Grey one they did for Amazon.  And I also wrote them a skit about having Kenan Thompson  playing CeeLo Green on the Voice and just poking fun at the fact that CeeLo had a parrot on his shoulder and was always rubbing his white socks on the chair legs and never wearing shoes. Now I will say they may not of done the skit as I wrote it in, but that was the SNL episode where Melissa McCarthy hosted and plays a contestant on the Voice and Thompson comes on stage as Cee Lo to talk to McCarthy about getting their parrots and getting out of there.  So I will keep dreaming, submitting and laughing out loud along the way!!!

A little Christmas Magic

Okay so it is December again and that means, Christmas is coming!  Woohoo! Such an exciting time of year. For parents with toddlers it can mean added chaos, to the already chaotic day.  If you haven't put up your Christmas tree and are wondering how your child will react and if your tree will survive, here are a few tips to help you along the way!

At this time last year our son was running, climbing and mega-curious, we had debated whether to put up a tree of any kind, and finally decided on a little 2 footer...behind plexiglass.  Yes, you read correctly, we put our tree behind plexiglass. For Finn, it was perfect he could ooh and ahhh over it without breaking ornaments or knocking over the tree. We referred to it as our Christmas No-Touch Museum. 

This year is quite different.  He now knows what Christmas is, and has been saying, "Christmas is coming" since he noticed all the Christmas hoopla on display in the stores.  We have been reading "The Grinch" for months (since July, because Christmas essentially starts in July right?) and when we get to the Whos in Who-ville gathered around the tree he sings, "Fah who foraze! Dah who doraze! Welcome Christmas, Come this way!"  So again the discussion began on what to do as far as a Christmas tree.  We decided he would have his own "fake" tree in his playroom, that would have colorful ornaments with a "Who-ville" theme.  My favorite find in this was what we now call "Who-sie Doo-sies", these slinky like ornaments that boing and bounce, and look like a colorful spiral spring.  Now we put this tree up several weeks ago, as a test to see what he would do with the ornaments (all plastic, child-friendly, of course!).  At first, he just was fascinated by it all, but like most children, he quickly began testing them. Pulling them off, moving them here and there.  So after careful consideration we decided that we could get a real tree this year, but that we would not use any "real" ornaments.

This year, our tree is filled with origami paper cranes, glittered pine cones and old-fashioned Christmas garland of popcorn and cranberries. What was great about this is he helped with all of it.  It began with going to pick out our tree at Clark Farm, we had a blast running through the trees and playing hide and seek and then finding "our tree".  When we got home, he enjoyed watching through the window as Kyle trimmed the tree to fit in the tree stand.  Once it was inside we strung the lights and showed him you have to water it.  Then began the fun of stringing our old-fashioned garland. This was so much fun, because Finn enjoyed eating the "pop pop" as I strung the popcorn and cranberries.  He enjoyed telling his dad, how messy mom is with the popcorn.  He watched me fold the paper cranes and string them to be hung on the tree.  He loves making them fly by blowing on them.  The glittery pine cones were fun too, we collected them from a tree in our yard and glittered them with glitter glue.  Now our tree is looking quite festive and every day Finn looks at the tree with amazement.

So here are the tips:

1-Discuss what level of curiosity your child(ren) are at and use that as your marker.
2-Connect to their world...let them have a part of the decorating.
3-Store-bought decorations should be things that can take a beating and survive...plastic and felt are my suggestions here.
4-Handmade...have fun, remember to let the child's creativity unleash...don't push them to be perfect, ...remember the magic of the holiday!
5-And sing along with your little who(s), "Fah who foraze! Dah who doraze! Welcome Christmas! Come this Way!"

Have fun making your Christmas mean so much more!!!

Move aside Ylvis, I'm feeling Eddie Vedder

I have anticipated Pearl Jam's new album, Lightning Bolt for several months now and I can say that it was well worth the wait.  I fell in love with Pearl Jam as a teenager, when music kept me grounded and allowed me to realize that all the feelings I was dealing with were okay.  Not normal, but okay.  Because why be normal? and what is normal? 

My high school friends, Dustin Rawlins and Kyle Bullock (now my husband and best friend), used to have a joke, "Are you feeling Eddie Vedder?", as a teenager you are always coping with hormonal shifts and just the plain awkwardness of high school, pinning Eddie Vedder in place of better always made me smile and put me into the mood to throw on PJ's debut album of the time, Ten.  And I couldn't tell you how influential the "grunge" movement was on my generation.  How many countless weekends I would watch the movie Singles just so I could get small glimpses of the cameo appearances by Stone Gossard, Jeff Ament and Eddie Vedder, as members of Matt Dillon's character, Cliff's band, Citizen Dick.  And then of course, the other grunge figure of the time that also made an appearance in this film, was Soundgarden's Chris Cornell. Needless to say, I feel like I time warped back to that era when I fell in love with "grunge" music.

Now with that out of the way, Lightning Bolt is a must-have album, it showcases such a plethora of American music.  The album starts out heavy, full grunge, think of Motorhead's Ace of Spades (I think of playing Tony Hawk's ProSkater  Video Game), with songs, Getaway, Mind Your Manners and My Father's Son.  The album then shifts into classic PJ anthem style, by this I mean when Vedder becomes a pseudo-preacher with his baritone vocals, working their way up to an angelic whisper and back down again sharing with you a story in an earthy tone.  Track 9, Let the Records Play, is my personal favorite, a southern blues rock ballad, it reminds me of so many great musicians, from Son House to Jack White, with an essence of Shania Twain (yes, I said it, you will hear it too, just wait). The album winds down with more subdued songs, Sleeping by Myself, Yellow Moon and Future Days, perfect for unwinding at the end of the night.  As I said, the album is reminiscent of so much American rooted music (including Neil Young), as you listen you will be like wait, who is that, and quickly what you think you hear, transcends into something new and fresh, but keeps up with that original grunge sound you fell in love with, while showcasing the deep roots of American music .  And you know it rocks, if my two year old son, Finn, asks "Mommy music on?", when we travel in the car.  As soon as it starts, he is sitting there from his backseat just rocking to the beat.  Maybe it is how many times I listened to Pearl Jam's rendition of Crazy Mary from their Red Rocks concerts on cd while he was in utero, but either way, I think he is a fan!

So whether you are a Pearl Jam fan or need a gift idea for someone, I highly recommend Lightning Bolt, because when you need to feel a little Vedder, or a throwback to the 90s, this is well-suited for you (just look at the album cover, the soundwaves are projected to the masses).  The only other thing that would make it better, is if Pearl Jam is added to the 2014 Firefly lineup (Red Frog if you wanna keep this fan happy, you know what to do)!!!