People are always coming up with "new" parenting tips, advice and methods on raising children. The most recent one, that my sister-in-law, Rachel recently shared with me, and a personal favorite is the CTFD method, Calm the Fuck Down. Basically whenever you feel overwhelmed, feel on the verge of exploding or melting down, feel your child isn't learning as fast as your friend's child, just remember CTFD. With that said, I wanted to share with you some thoughts that go hand in hand with the CTFD method, because we have all been there...your child is exploring the world and decides to _______________ and you are about to overreact, when you remember to CTFD...and then I want you to think about how to change the situation.
First of all, I want you to YouTube, Sir Ken Robinson's TED talk entitled, "How Schools Kill Creativity". I first watched this video as I was finishing up my undergraduate degree in Liberal Studies. Back then, I decided that it was of such importance to the education world, that I sent it to all of my professors that I felt had allowed me to explore outside the molded system and allowed me to use creativity in my approach to assignments. What happened? Most of them emailed it or showed other friends of theirs within the education world. I think that this video is important for everyone to watch, because Robinson raises some important points. The first is educating our children for the future, when we seriously cannot predict five years down the road, let alone twenty years down the road. Let me not spoil the entire thing, just take the time and watch it, then read some of my CTFD reactionary moments.
"Frank sent this" reactionary moments after you CTFD:
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| Coloring on the wall of the Book Nook |
1- When your child decides to draw outside the box, off the coloring book and onto the walls, CTFD. The walls can be painted and scrubbed. If its wallpaper, even better, I still have a childhood drawing I did on my wall as a child of the sun that I did with a bright orange, permanent market (it could not be painted over), but it was on painted wallpaper...so eventually the wallpaper was stripped. My plan now, to frame it as a reminder to not hinder creativity, let it shine like the sun and warm my soul.
2- When your child decides to pick up a stick and fling dirt with it, and then put his dirty fingers in his mouth, CTFD. Hands can be washed, and keep this lovely quote from author, Bill Bryson in mind when you want to stress about bacteria, "There is no point trying to hide from your bacteria, for they are on you and around you always, in numbers you can't conceive of. If you are in good health and averagely diligent about your hygiene, you will have a herd of about one trillion bacteria grazing on your fleshy plains - about one hundred thousand of them on every square centimetre of skin. And those are just the bacteria that inhabit your skin... Every human body consists of about ten quadrillion cells, but it is host to about a hundred quadrillion bacterial cells. They are, in short, a big part of us. From the bacteria's point of view, of course, we are a rather small part of them… This is their planet, and we are only on it because they allow us to be”. We need bacteria to survive. Lay off the hand sanitizer, we do not need another member of the OCD club. Do not be afraid of science.
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Poppa says something about Churchill
and "carrying a big stick" |
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| Dirty Hands with Dad |
3- When your child is admiring their uncle, grandfather or father working on a car or motorcycle, do not be afraid of letting them get a little greasy, CTFD. Allow your child to understand how the world has changed over the years...the interchangeable part and the industrialized revolution...ah, history! Let them really work on their motor skills. Allow them to see that turning a wrench and a screwdriver is okay...these are life skills regardless of whatever profession or career path they choose later in life. We all have had to pay for someone to fix something, that we felt was too much, because they knew what screw to turn.
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| a little light motorc |
4- When your child chooses a "book" from the magazine bin of your bookshelf, instead of from his "children" books, CTFD. If he shows interest in something, let him "read" and study about it. Engineers and Architects draw out their visions for things all the time. If we study what works and look at what could be designed differently, who knows what we could come up with. Remember to remind them of pulleys, and how wheels work...LEGOS are great for this!!!
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I wandered lonely as a cloud...
when all at once I saw a crowd
a host of golden daffodils-Wadsworth |
5- When they pull or whack at the flowers at the park with a stick, CTFD. Think back to when you were a child and how large the world looked to you. Remember that two weeks prior when you were at the park, these flowers weren't there. This is a time to explain how fragile and beautiful life is...when you come home bring out their baby book, remind them of how little they were (I know, it hasn't been that long, but even from the first few weeks to 8 months is a huge difference...remember how delicate their head was...how they couldn't lift it). This is also a good time to start reminding them of the colors in the world, and introduce them to famous artists, like O'Keefe, Matisse, and Picasso (there are several great children's books out there...When Pigasso met Mootisse by Nina Laden).
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| Righty tighty, Lefty Loosey |
6- When they want to help dad put together their new table and chair set, CTFD. Don't squander their excitement for new things. Remember if they help put something together they will learn what it means to have pride in something. When our son, Finn, helped his dad put these table and chairs together he loved showing them off to whoever came to visit. He also loved rearranging all the chairs. Now he has learned to quietly move these chairs and use them as stools to reach the things he couldn't before, again CTFD...he is just exploring the world at new heights!
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| Helping Mom in the Garden |
7- When your child decides to rip all the flowers off, not just the dead ones, or decides to pick the tomatoes when they are green instead of ripe red, CTFD. Remember they are trying to understand what you are showing them. They are mimicking your behavior, they just don't fully understand it all, just yet. They will in time, just keep explaining it to them. On a side note, my marigolds have never had so many blooms, so maybe pulling the newbies off sometimes helps.
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| Washing Dad's Car |
8- When your child decides to take the hose and wet the car down in their pajamas, CTFD. Use this as an opportunity to show them how to care for and maintain your car, as well as, everything else. Explain its just like bath time...its good to get dirty, but we also need to clean-up. Don't stop with the car, when you are cleaning windows hand them some paper towels. Also keep in mind the teenage years will eventually come...be thankful they want to help now!
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| Finn's Custom Bikes |
9- When you come home from work, and your husband has created a funhouse out of large boxes (that motorcycle tires came in), CTFD. Make this playhouse into everything imaginable...currently for us, it is Finn's Custom Bikes (a garage like daddy's). During the day this is a great way to play motorcycle garage, house, or whatever they want it to be...at night, however, we like to take all the couch pillows and position towards the television and watch cartoons. Who needs new toys? When you have cardboard boxes...think of the savings. You can also teach them about graffiti artist like Bansky, and graffiti the sides with cool drawings.
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| Finn @ Funland, Rehoboth Beach, DE |
10- When they decide they are not going to take a nap in a strange place, CTFD. Instead go ahead with your afternoon plans, take them to Funland (Rehoboth Beach, DE) and let their eyes be amazed by all the lights and shiny rides. Let their ears take in the sounds of the waves crashing outside, the bells ringing on all the little kids rides, and all the other sounds of a mini amusement park, as the smell of Thrashers' French Fries collides with the wave of coconut scented lotions and ocean air circles around you. Soon the thousand yard stare will transcend upon their eyes and you know it will be time to go home (they will be fast asleep in the car). Remember to teach them we work hard, to play hard. So turn up the music, dance like no one is watching, and take every moment with your child and make it an educational experience filled with creativity (keep in mind you are their first teacher!)
