Deviled Eggs

Ingredients:

1 dozen large eggs
2 heaping Tbsp. Mayonnaise (I suggest Olive Oil mayo)
1 heaping Tbsp. Yellow Mustard
3 dashes of Paprika
1 tsp. Distilled White Vinegar
1 tsp. salt (half if using Sea Salt)
1 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
1 tsp. to 1 Tbsp. of granulated sugar (depending on taste)

Directions:
Place a dozen eggs, into saucepan and cover with cold water. Put the saucepan over medium heat and bring the water to a boil. Once the water has boiled reduce the heat to a simmer. Begin timing: eggs will be hard-cooked in 10-15 minutes.   Hard-cooked eggs should be plunged into cold water at once to stop any further cooking and to prevent the yolks from discoloring.

To shell hard-cooked eggs, crack the shell and roll the egg between the palms fo your hands to free the skin from the egg. (If eggs are fresh it makes it more difficult to shell). Cut the eggs in half lengthwise.  To slice the eggs smoothly, dip the knife into water before slicing. Remove yolks carefully so as not to damage the whites.  Place the yolks in a bowl and the whites on a serving tray.

With a fork begin to crush the yolks gently, and then begin to add the rest of the ingredients.  Once all the ingredients are mixed, you must do a taste test of the filling. Making sure the filling tastes sweet/tart, not tart/sweet.  This is the most important step and it is necessary to mkae the proper adjustments before finishing the dish off. (*Recommendations:  If the filling taste too tangy, then there is too much mayonnaise and you must add a pinch or two of more granulated sugar, and possibly another dash of paprika.  If the filling is too tart, then there is too much yellow mustard and you must add a teaspoon or two of mayonnaise and pinch of granulated sugar.  If you are pouring the distilled vinegar in from the bottle over a spoon and accidentally pour too much, immediately try to pour some of it from the mixture before mixing, because in this case you may make the mixture too runny, and the only way to thicken it at this point is to cook more eggs and add more cooked yolks. If the mixture tastes too salty, you can easily diffuse it by adding two pinches of sugar).

Once you get the filling to taste sweet/tart, you are ready to put the filling back into the whites on the serving tray.  You can do this two ways, depending on the desired result.  For a picnic or family get together a spoon works quite easily to put the filling into the whites.  For an elaborate occassion such as a wedding or banquet a pastry bag provides a much more elegant presentation.

Finally keep eggs in refrigerator up until 1/2 hour before serving. This ensures improved texture and flavor.


Embrace the Journey



I know you may feel bogged down by old man winter still lurking around, but don't let him keep you down! Spring is here! Let this be a time for you to embrace this journey of life and reawaken yourself.  Discover what drives you, what are your passions? 

There are many ways to do this, but I am going to share with you what I have been doing recently. To start look at your day, figure out a time that you can set aside at least 30 minutes.  This may mean making some adjustments in your daily routine: planning your dinner ahead, knowing what meals your are going to make, and possibly preparing portions of them in the early morning alongside cooking your breakfast. 

What I like to do in that 30 minutes is take a walk, with my husband and my son.  I find it a good time to get some fresh air, sometimes it maybe a little more brisk, but it is really rejuvenating to your inner core.  I recommend starting with just a mile to start (you can always add more as you feel you need it or have the extra time).  The walk is a good time to let yourself do some real inner reflection.  I find myself quickly reflecting on my past, present and future experiences, as the nature that surrounds me during my walk reminds me of these moments.  The photo above is of a spot on one of the trails we walk frequently, and it always reminds me of the light and the shadows in one's life. Some may refer to it as the peaks and the valleys, either way it is part of our journey.

As we walk, I like to share the surrounding nature with my son. I like to give him pieces of fallen branches, monkey balls, and pine cones.  I am looking forward to pointing out what the past season has done to the landscape and point out the signs of the season that are just appearing in the landscape.  For instance, one of the things I noticed on our recent walks is how many trees were completely uprooted this past winter.  It is truly an inspiration of how majestic and fragile the world is.

After our walk, my husband and I work on excercising our core, even more.  For me, my husband is my biggest cheerleader and therefore, is now my personal trainer.  For now, working on our core together, means doing squats and planks.  The biggest mistake both of us have seen people do and other personal trainers push on people is making people do too much, too fast, too soon. So therefore, we started with 5 squats on day 1, and have increased 5 squats per day.  The planks are timed, I recommend using a breathing technique I learned from kickboxing. We used to use this technique at the end of our workout, and basically what you do is raise your hands above your head (breathing in), then stretch out to your sides, draw your elbows in, and then push your hands in front of you. While doing this last portion imagine you are pushing a mountain and breath out.  As I do my planks, I keep the mountain as my focus, as I hold myself in that upward position, I think of all the things that I put in front of me, that are barriers or mountains and I breath through the plank pushing them out of my way. Be realistic, if you have not done a plank in years, or ever for that matter, do not over do it. Listen to your body. Remember that this is part of the journey, you start at one point and work towards another.  It is all about building stepping stones, when you establish day 1, you can then build on day 2.  For me, that meant taking the 5 squats to 10 and taking my 2 planks (one at 30 seconds and the second at 37 seconds) and trying to achieve more.  Also keep in mind that some days you are not going to feel motivated...this is why you need someone to be there cheering you on.  My husband is not my only cheerleader, I have many friends, who when I need a walking partner I do not hestitate to call them and ask them to meet me.  It is a great time for us to catch up, and walking is good for everyone. It is also a great way to burn extra empty calories, because you decided to go ahead an have that piece of cake because it was someone's birthday at work, or you joined everyone in celebrating spring with free Rita's (italian water ice or custard).

These are just stepping stones. In the words of Joe Dirt, "Life's a garden, dig it!", yes, I am quoting the movie Joe Dirt. And when the weather is not cooperating, get yourself a good  Yoga or Tae Bo dvd. Do not let the weather hinder you.

And I know some of you will think, "Excercise, eh, meh, not for me", and I understand the feeling, but I am asking you to just take a walk, you may be surprised what you encounter along the way. Embrace the journey. 

Juggling Hats and Avoiding Survival Mode

     Feel like you are in survival mode all the time?   When you become a parent you are given so many words of wisdom and advice, but you may still find yourself in survival mode. You know the mode where you feel warn down, but you keep doing the things that "must" get done "right now", and can't keep yourself from fretting over what "must" be done next.  Well, stop.  Listen to your body, it is giving you signals.  Are craving "you" time? This is a good indicator that you are either entering survival mode or living in it all the time.  Here are a few random tidbits to help you get out of parenting in survival mode. Feel free after reading to share any tidbits you have in a comment.
  
     Becoming a parent is one of the most rewarding experiences in life, as many of you already know.  Whether you are a biological parent or not, nurturing this little being and helping it to understand and embrace the world, is truly a remarkable experience.  With that said, you the parent also need nurturing, to be able to have the energy to accomplish such a tremendous feat. Babies, toddlers, children and teenagers are draining and you must make sure to take time to refuel yourself.

     You may think you never have enough time in the day, when can I refuel myself? Whether you are a working parent or stay at home parent, time is always an issue.  Having a clean house, the dishes cleaned and put away, the laundry caught up, the bills written out, email caught up, the grass mowed, the sink fixed, etc...these are all things that can consume our time.  However, we must not let ourselves get so busy trying to keep up with all these items, that we forget to take care of ourselves.

     With that said, I know that the thought of money will rear its' ugly head. The truth is though you do not need money to make time for yourself.  Time for yourself can be simply locking yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes (having 5 minutes of your own thoughts), or even a 5 minute uninterrupted shower. Sometimes it may not be time completely alone to yourself, you may have to share the space...for instance grabbing the kids and the stroller and going for a walk.  Getting outdoors is a great way to clear your mind, think about who you are, where you are going and where you want to go. Getting the kid(s) outdoors is also a good way to get some fresh air, and a new view on the world around them. Ah, be rejuvenated!

   Now some of you, are like come on, I need more than that, and yes, I agree at times we do need more.  In those cases you must learn to "ask" for help.  This is something that does not come easy, as we often feel guilty for not being able to do it all, or are made to feel guilty by those mom martyrs. Yes, you know the ones I speak of, the ones who are all, I do this, that, and work full-time, and yeah OK, sure you do, but in the end someone is suffering (hint...it maybe you who is suffering...or even worse your children). Let's be honest, we can't do it all, we can try and do our best, but juggling all these hats is not easy, and from time to time, we do need help.  So learn to "ask". This might mean, you have a friend, sister, your mom, or mother-in-law come in and babysit your kid(s) so you can get your hair cut, or a 30 minute work out in at the gym. But be sure, when you ask any of these individuals to help you out, that you thank them. 

    The "big" adjustment: making time for you is important, and it also coincides with making time for your partner.  When you have a child, your couple time is often interrupted, by constant needs of this little being and you must remember to nurture your relationship.  This means setting aside date nights, whenever you can fit them in.  I suggest renting a movie and ordering take out versus going out to the movies, because you can't talk in the theater and you can always stop a rented movie. Remember how important "pillow talk" is, *wink*, *wink* you know what I am implying here.   And don't forget to show your affection for each other in front of your children (it is important for them to know that you love each other). And again, if you are finding it hard to get couple time, remember these are times to ask for help too.  It might mean asking someone to watch your kids while you both go and get the dreaded chore of grocery shopping done together. But if you plan, make a good list, stick to it, split the list, you may have an extra 15 minutes where you can grab a cup of coffee or go for a walk together.  I know it may not seem like much, but those 15 minutes can be vitally important to you staying connected. And remember to say I love you, whether in a text at a random point in the day, like when your toddler is having a tantrum and you are ready to pull your hair out, or in a little note that you send with your partner's lunch. Oh, and don't forget it is never to old to make a mixed tape...now you just have to make a mixed cd, or mixed playlist of "your" songs.

     So the next time you are feeling overwhelmed, remember to take a time out, for yourself, even if it is at the end of the day.  Remember your house does not have to look spotless clean all the time. I am not saying ignore it all together, but pick a day to do the deep cleaning. Remind yourself that some of that stuff will be there in the morning, it isn't going anywhere. Also, when your child is nudging you to sit down and play with them, watch a show with them, or just talk...stop what you are doing and embrace this moment. I know it may not seem like it, but this is a "you" time too, it is a time that you share "you" with your child. It is a priceless moment, something they will keep with them forever, and you will learn from, yes they are teaching and nurturing you too!!! Lastly, remember that you can always make more money, but you cannot always get those moments back.

***Many thanks to all who have helped me along the way...especially my mom and my mother-in-law!!!***



 

Meatza Pie



In honor of National Pi Day 3.14, I decided it is time for me to not only finally try this recipe out, but share it with anyone else who feels like being a little irrational in the kitchen.  I discovered this recipe in Melissa Joulwan's Well-fed: Paleo Recipes for People Who Love to Eat.  You can learn more about Joulwan by checking out her blog, The Clothes That Make the Girl. So have fun unleashing your irrational side, and discover what it is like to cook outside the pizza box. (If you notice the cooking time is the same as the wait time would be if you ordered a pizza). Have fun!

 
 

Meatza Pie: an irrational twist on traditional pizza

Ingredients:

1 lb. ground beef

1 Tbsp. Penzeys Italian Sausage Seasoning

1 Cup Fresh Grape Tomatoes

2 tsps. Coconut Oil

1 Tbsp. Penzeys Pizza Seasoning

*Assorted Veggies for topping

*Shredded Cheese

Directions:

-Preheat oven to 400 F degrees

-Mix Meat with italian sausage seasonings. Divide in half.
-Press meat mix smooth and evenly into two 9" pie pans. Bake for 15 minutes.

-While meat bakes, cut grape tomatoes into halves.

-Heat coconut oil in a skillet, add tomatoes and pizza seasoning...this will thicken to become your sauce. Set aside.

-Prep veggies for topping (your choice steam or saute until tender).

-Take the meat pie out let cool for a few minutes. Place a sheet of parchment paper on a large baking sheet. Carefully with a large spatula lift the meat pies, tilting slightly to allow the grease drippings to run off into the pie pans before placing each pie on the parchment lined baking sheet. Spread sauce and arrange cheese and toppings, place back in oven and finish cooking for another 15 minutes.

-Remove let stand a few minutes, cut and serve.

*Note: Penzeys is a spice company, you can buy their spices in their stores, or online.  If you don't have Penzeys you can substitute with Italian Seasonings. Joulwan recommends Penzeys, as do I, a friend turned me onto Penzeys a few years ago.*

**Note #2: People who follow the paleo diet, debate whether cheese is an accepted food for the diet. Strict Paleo dieters avoid it, as they avoid all dairy. So it is up to you, embrace your creativity.

***Note #3: If you are in a pinch and want to speed this up you can also use canned or jarred pizza sauce, instead of making your own.

The Queen of all Succubi

On my way to work I pass you, you pitiful unsightly creature turning over trash cans and ravaging through the jumbled mess...all in search of "Hillbilly Heroin".  I drive powerless to stop you, only able to save myself, protected by my vehicle which keeps me encapsuled from your savage war. This war is not yours alone, but you fight alone everyday...as do so many others like you. 

Slightly distracted by your world, I look up and notice a driver swerve to make the turn ahead and I wonder are they trapped by the same "blues" you are?  I think to myself how many of you are taking these things for pain management when you find, you are quickly addicted.  Addicted to a war within yourself.  These little pills are often compared to bringing you the same euphoria of heroin, yet they are given legally by doctors. Of course, many of you no longer are getting them legally...because they are so addicting and the battle begins to maintain that feeling, you felt the first time and to stay there. And hence, you begin your dumpster diving, searching for the ones someone threw away, only to be saved by you their hero. Their hero to take a journey with, to the other side.

At night, I am stopped in my tracks by the sounds of your fury. I hear you fighting with your "girlfriend", telling her in not so many glorious words  how you have scored a few pills to keep you going one more day.  Then you tell her she is a "fucking junkie, because she has no will power to spread them out and make 'em last, and that she can fucking go, leave".  You are fighting with your own war, you are in the middle of feening yourself.  The war releases its' demon as you continue to battle this out with her.  You will continue to scrape the bottom of barrels and continue to fight alongside the other crabs in the pot, fighting for that last bit to stay alive, before the lid closes you in...suffocation  You tell her that you will pay all her bills, and she can have everything you own. The problem is you are both trapped, trapped in your own wars with this addictive beast- Oxycodone.

Oxycodone is known by many names. Her prescription names include: Percodan, Oxycontin, Percocet, Endocet, Magnacet, Primalev, Primlev, Roxicet, Tylox and Xolox.  Her street names sound like club, coffehouse and band names: Roxies, Blues, Perks, '30s, Oxy, OC, Oxy 80s, Killers, Kickers, Hillbilly Heroin, and Blueberries. 

The beast was born in Germany, in 1916 developed as a semi-synthetic opioid. In 1950, this beast was unleashed under the name Percodan, but then the beast was smaller, only 5 mg. Over the years, after being rebirthed, she reemerged in Oxycontin, containing 80 mg of the beast.  That is when she unleashed her full terror and havoc on our nation, crippling so many to her physical dependence. She takes hold of you and impairs your thinking and your reactions.  She turns your world upside down, you struggle to survive, you yearn to live.

At some point our nation realized the beast's holy terror, they grabbed hold of her and transformed her nature once again, lowering her back down to 20 or 30 mg.  Somehow they thought this would tame her, but she is relentless. She consumes everyone who tastes her.

Her ruthless addictive qualities provoke those who seek her sin into dealing her magic they "...go into a pharmacy with a prescription for 60 percocet 30mg, and with their insurance pay a co-pay of lets say $10? ...and then sell each pill for $20-30 each"(Pill epidemic). Those who can no longer get a prescription follow her into the lowly depths of stealing and scouring dumpsters. Or worse begin selling sexual favors in exchange for the "blues" or money to buy the "roxies".

The beast does not just torment those who taste her either, her blood shed touches all the family members and friends who stand by helpless, as they watch their loved ones consumed by the succubus beast. One mother after discovering the pills in her daughters backpack, took them and flushed them down the toilet, little did she know she was only providing her a slow drip to the beast.  By flushing them, the mother just added the drug into their water supply, "...utility companies contend the water is safe, experts from private organizations and government say they can't say for sure whether the levels of the drugs in drinking water are low enough to discount harmful effects" (WebMD). "We know that kids, including babies and toddlers, as well as, fetuses are more susceptible to environmental exposures  because their bodies are still developing and their exposure on a pound -per-pound basis is higher. And they lack the detoxification system adults have. So it not unreasonable to expect they would be at a higher risk" (WebMD).  When the mother realized this she was devastated, not only was she providing her teenage daughter a slow drip to the beast, but now she exposed her son to the beast's vices, who was just 4 years old.

Many in our nation overlook or ignore the beast's power hold she has in this war.  She has the ability to blind those who have not tasted her, so we cannot see that she is pulling out the seams of our woven fabric.  She wants to watch us fall.  For those who have tasted her bitter poison, they cannot see anything but her.   They are enticed by her and begin chasing her down her hellashish rabbit hole and Alice is not there to help.  All you are left with is the collision of the jabberwocky, the mad hatter and all the other characters in Wonderland, while the Beast-the queen holds the fate of your heart and if you let her, she will keep you locked in that downward spiral.  If you want to live, you will struggle to figure it out, never knowing when you last tasted her, and if her temptation will ever suck you in again, after all she is the Queen of all Succubi!

[Special thanks to the following sources for references:]
http://Wikipedia.org/wiki/oxycodone#recreational_abuse
http://www.sobernation.com/oxycodone
http://www.drugs.com/percocet
http://www.thepillepidemic.com/the-new-epidemic/
http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z guides/features/drugs-in-our-water
http://oxycontin.blogspot.com

Select-A-Size: Adult Paper Towel

            So there I was, lying naked in the examination room waiting for the doctor to have her way with my cooter. I soon realized from the pain protruding from my sciatic nerve and my mind wondering to the paranoia of whether a small camera was peering at me through the noise ventilation box in the ceiling that I had been waiting far too long.

As I sat up and laid down on the crinkling sanitation paper on the examination table trying to relieve the pain I debated whether I should storm into the hallway full commando and start screaming, “Hey, hey here I am, is this what you wanted to see, me naked for your employees!” Instead I continued to lay there putting my feet up into the stirrups that remind me of some twisted torture device from the Dark Ages. I try moving my knees in and out because my sciatic nerve is hurting something fierce and I quickly realize that if there is a mini camera peering down at me through that box my actions look like I am auditioning for Suzanne Somers Thighmaster infomercial.  I contemplate actually getting off the table to check my cellphone for the time, but I figure as soon as I grab it the door will open.

Well it seems as if ten more minutes have gone by and I start fiddling with the crappy sheet made out of paper, aka “the gown” the assistant hands you to drape your body with when you are placed in this prison cell of an examination room. I look at the tear I already made in the sheet from trying to remember which way the doctor wants this oversize paper towel placed around my body. I figure I should just toss it and say what’s the point, it doesn’t fit around my body. It doesn’t keep me warm in this cold ass room, and I have already been humiliated by the time I have sat here observing the flaws of my body and thinking some pervert is spying on me through the damn ventilation box.  So I begin analyzing each step of the process of this torture session at the O.B.G.Y.N. Still frustrated by which way to drape my body I am reminded of the fact that anyone who walks in this room the way I have situated this damn oversized paper towel gets a full view of my ass crack and my acne scars on my upper back. It is at that moment I fully realize this fucking sheet does not do anything but let me struggle for some bit of security as if I’m fucking Linus van Pelt from Charles Schulz’ comic Charlie Brown. What security is there in knowing that this doctor is going to feel my breasts for lumps, shove a cold ass metal clamp up my cooter to scrape a sample off and then put that vaginal jelly up my va-j-j with her latex covered fingers that feels like the thickest petroleum jelly you have ever felt!!!

The wait in the exam room took nearly 45 minutes, the actual exam 10 minutes (I am not bothering with how long I waited in the lobby prior to the exam).  Needless to say I changed practices after this visit.