Friday, August 1, 2014

Easy Peasy Caprese Salad


This is one of my favorite dishes to make this time of year. There are several variations on this salad. I also love that you can serve this over crisp lettuce leaves on its' own or as a side with a main course like grilled chicken breasts.

Ingredients:
4 red peppers
1 container of mozzarella balls
2-3 fresh basil leaves
Pinch of Italian seasonings
Drizzle of olive oil

Directions:
Slice the red peppers so that you can lay them in a baking pan skin side up. Place them in the broiler, roasting the peppers until the skins are bubbling and black. Remove the peppers with tongs place in a glass dish and cover with plastic wrap. Let them cool for about 10-15 minutes before trying to remove skins. Once you remove skins cut peppers in long sliver slices and place in a glass or ceramic dish. Next add mozzarella balls. Chop basil and sprinkle on top along with pinch of Italian seasonings. Finish off with a drizzle of olive oil and lightly toss...ready to serve and devour!

***You can also use yellow peppers for more color and flavor. 
Another thing I like to do with this recipe is toss in fresh grape or heirloom tomatoes***

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Time to Shine with FlowCity


 
Several years ago, Kyle and I had the opportunity to meet some amazing young talent.  Kyle was working at a high school and had the privilege of helping many students who had an interest in music with a club called "So You Think You Wanna Be a Rock Star?"  The students of that club combined with the students in the poetry club teamed up and started putting on coffeehouses.  The coffeehouses were a unique opportunity for students to test the stage and see what it really felt like to perform in front of an audience.  Some of the students quickly realized what stage fright really was, and others embraced it and thrived off of it.  There was a particular group that not only discovered they had a talent, but realized it was a passion that they wanted to flourish, this group was FlowCity aka "302 party crew".  What I saw the first time they took the stage was a connection to the crowd, their dream was much like their peers, they wanted to be famous, and their peers connected to this in their words, "that'll be me on the TV screen".  Their lyrics were catchy and you could hear the students singing their songs throughout the halls.  FlowCity began practicing more and more, and they haven't quit. 

Kyle and I have stayed in connection with member, Danielle Johnson aka Brown Suga, and I asked her for an exclusive interview.  The boys and Brown Suga have been working hard and coming up with new material.

Q-How would you describe your hip hop? There are many elements of hip hop: DJing, MCing, Graffiti art, breaking and beatbox...what are your favorites and are there any that you hope on bringing to FlowCity's future?

Brown Suga- I would describe our music as fun, in your face party music! Our nick name is the 302 Party Crew and you can definitely hear it in our music.  Hip hop started at block parties with djs playing the music everyone loved and people coming together to celebrate and have a great time. FLOWCITY embodies that! If you ever see us live you can't help but have fun just watching us.

Q-Do you feel you are addressing deep changes in society that are not being addressed in any other arena?

Brown Suga- I love when we're recording and get the chance to really ponder and write about a serious subject. I'm actually working on a song with songwriter and musical artist Big Frank, about being a proud independent black woman. I think it's important to be up to date and current in music, especially when you make rap which has for a long time been about current pop culture and what's buzzing, but when I get the chance to really get engrossed in a subject I care very much about I jump at it!

Q-You are all cousins, correct? When did you decide to form FlowCity, how did it happen?

Brown Suga- Haha! Yes we are all family! Shorty Rock (Darien Williams) is my first cousin. His mother is actually FlowCity's manager, Valerie Williams. Nino Nosay (Dexter Brown) has been a part of our family since...I can't remember! He lived down the street from Shorty Rock when we were young children and he didn't have any siblings to harass so we took him in. I really don't think I could feel closer to him if we did share blood.  I was the first to really try my hand at music. I wrote little songs on a dollar store piano my mother bought me. You know how they have demo buttons that play percussion of different genres. I would play those and write raps. One day I was brave enough to show Shorty Rock and he thought it was awesome. I think we were 8 or 9 and we just never stopped.  Nino came into the picture around 2008 when we were in high school together.

Q-You've been together for 6 years, this was your 4th African American Festival in Dover and your first time having a DJ, do you plan to continue to feature djs or are any of you looking at becoming a dj like pioneer DJ Kool Herc?

Brown Suga- The African American Festival is hands down my favorite show of the year! All of the community is there and we always feel so loved and appreciated. This year was the first year we had DJ ELegal (@DJ_ELegal http://twitter.com/DJ_ELegal) on stage with us.  After having a dj on stage you can't go back haha!  You have more control of your show and that's big to us because we always try to make it entertaining and not just a bunch of goofy kids jumping around on stage.

Q-You've played a few times outside Delaware- Baltimore, D.C. and Philly, have you ever had the opportunity to play the birthplace of hip hop, The Bronx? If not, how would it feel to get a chance to play there?

Brown Suga- We've played Manhattan, but not the Bronx.  New York is kind of intimidating when it comes to hip hop. It's like you walk down the street and someone's freestyling on the corner and it is amazing! Every corner is like that! Well not every corner, some corners I walk in the street to avoid, but you get my drift.

credit: Bill Rife Photography
Q-Like the movie, Brown Sugar says, "When did you first fall in love with hip hop?" What artists would you say were most influential to you? And who would you compare your music too?

Brown Suga- This question is always kind of hard because my first musical influences weren't hip hop artists. They were mostly gospel singers and Jimi Hendrix haha! I was raised in a strong Christian household and really wasn't allowed to listen to secular music.  Gospel singers taught me to perform with feeling and emotion and Jimi taught me to dare to be different.  Hip hop came later and almost as a lark. But if I have to answer it would be Bone thugs in Harmony and Tupac Shakur. they were awesome writers and performers.

Q-Describe what each of your names mean: Brown Suga, Nino Nosay and Shorty Rock?

Brown Suga- Haha! That's a new question! Shorty Rock played basketball since he was a child. He actually passed up school after graduation to pursue music. During basketball the players would say pass me the rock meaning basketball. He was also pretty short growing up. I'm not sure if it was our grandmother or his father, but someone called him Shorty Rock at a game, and the entire school called him that from then on. Nino is a firm believer in the saying "I am my brothers keeper" a line in the 90s film New Jack City starring Wesley Snipes.  The main character's name was Nino Brown. I got my name from a friend. The story is quite simple. We were at this church that was throwing a show full of scream rock band's haha! While we were on our way to the bathroom together before the next band set up, she turned to me and said, "You're so sweet! I'm gong to call you Brown Suga". It was good enough for me. It caught on quickly and soon people didn't remember my real name anymore.

Q-How does fashion impact FlowCity, one of your songs talks about looking through XXL and other brand labels? How would you feel to be a XXL freshmen?

Brown Suga- FlowCity loveeeeeessssss fashion! Not in the spend my bill money on shoes type of way, but in a we want to catch your eye kind of way. I think out of all of us Shorty Rock is most fashion inclined, but we all have our own style. Who said that? Probably Nino Nosay! That would be amazing to be on the cover of XXL.  I go into gas stations to us the ATM and that magazine always catches my eye. That cover is reserved for the next big names in hip hop! I cannot wait until I'm using the ATM and my face is peeking out from that cover! haha!

Brown Suga and Chelsea
photo credit: Kyle Bullock
 
Q- Danielle (Brown Suga) you are very open about being a lesbian, have you endured any backlash in the community? Does it help being a part of hip hop, or do you still fight a battle being accepted?

Brown Suga- Yes, I am out and proud! I am proud of who I am and went through hardships and guilt for years before I finally felt comfortable with myself. If anyone feels any resentment towards me for being bisexual now they have yet to make it public.





"Loose Lips Sink Ships"
Hannah Whitham and Brown Suga in the RatZilla (thanks to Ed Thwaites)
photo credit: Kyle Bullock
Q-Recently your friend, Hannah Whitham got a portrait tattoo of you. It is very reminiscent of the African painter, Ernie Barnes, who is known for elongation and movement in his paintings.  His most noteworthy painting is probably "Sugar Shack" which was part of the 70s television series "Good Times" which depicted living in the ghetto.  Barnes was also commissioned by Kayne West to create "A Life Restored" a painting depicting the life changing experience West had with a near fatal car crash.  How did it feel to discover your friend acknowledge your friendship with a portrait tattoo?

Brown Suga- I never even thought of that similarity. I know the painting you are talking about.  I think the first time I ever saw it was in a barbershop.  I suppose it does look a little reminiscent of his work. Hannah Whitham is my best friend! We got really close in high school and that was the end of that. She's the sister I never had! It was done as a total surprise to me and I almost didn't believe it, but it's awesome. She is a big fan of art and hard work that goes with tattoos. I love that she got a kickass tattoo of me, but I'd be okay if she was the only person to ever get a tattoo of me!



Q- FlowCity has been at this for 6 years, what are you doing to pay the bills as you are working to get out there on the scene?

Brown Suga- We've been a band for several years. It takes money to make money so we've always found ways to make ends meet and help our craft.  I took several months off form making music to go back to school. I work at a medical clinic during the day.  I wanted a 9 to 5 job with no nights or weekends, so I could continue my passion without starving to death. Have you ever heard of starving artists?  That's not a joke.

Q- What has been the best advice anyone has given you?

Brown Suga- Wow, that's a hard question.  I think the best advice ever given to me was from music legend, Bill Pettaway, on a trip to Florida in 2012.  He said, "success is determined by three factors: having the right thing, at the right time and being in the right place". I thought long and hard about it and decided it is true on so many levels in life, not just in the music business.  Every day I try to make sure my craft, my product, my art, my job, my relationships with friends and family are always evolving. You never know when your time to shine will present itself. I believe in that moment you can change your destiny.

Q-Are you signed?

Brown Suga- Signed to what? A record contract? An album deal? A distribution deal? Haha! this question always gets me funny looks when I answer. Nope, no signing of any dotted lines yet.  Flow City is currently concentrating on making good music, gaining fan base (not only regionally, but also internationally) and finding new and better ways to market ourselves. If a deal comes and the numbers look good then amen! If not, we'll continue to build our business with the resources we have and the team of people we've been blessed to work with over the years.

Bill Rife Photography


Brown Suga and
The Ratzilla (Ed Thwaites)
Photo Credit: Kyle Bullock
 
Special thanks to Danielle Johnson/Brown Suga for this interview and for hanging with me at the gym. 
 
FlowCity
 https://www.facebook.com/FlowCity3

Booking Info Contact: Valerie Williams, FlowCity Manager
(302)241-4357
vide@verizon.net
 
Credits: Bill Rife Photography http://youtu.be/TGHABKDEaall

 
Thanks again to Ed Thwaites for allowing Ratzilla to be part of a photoshoot
Photographer Kyle Bullock @electricsheep6 (instagram)
 





Friday, July 18, 2014

Never End While Something We Evoked Didn't Explode, Never! (New Sweden)

My husband, Kyle and I eagerly anticipate the Firefly Music Festival lineup every year, usually there is only one Delaware band in the lineup.  The lineup was released, but the Firefly app was not up, we knew there were going to be two Delaware bands (Mean Lady and New Sweden), we wanted to learn who they were and their sound.  It did not take long for us to discover we knew one of the band members in New Sweden from high school.  I began scanning You Tube for clips of New Sweden, when I heard "Shine That Light," I was hooked.  As I've said before a festival like Firefly is something I dreamed of growing up in Delaware.  I mean I learned to play guitar where the Home Depot now sits.  So getting a chance to see a "kid" you remember singing and drumming in your high school art class all "grown-up" (Smyrnadelphia) and playing festivals, following his bliss, and enjoying every second of it, is a beautiful sight to behold. 

I ordered their album, The Mountain, it reminded me of so many other Americana bands and artists, Neil Young, Sam Beam of Iron and Wine, David Lowery and Johnny Hickman of Cracker and Jack White.  Then Kyle and I decided to check them out at World Café Live @ the Queen in Wilmington.  Kyle works weekends so it is a rare thing for us to have a date night and catch live music.  We drove up and caught them without the band member we know, William Dobies and were amazed by their talent (it is rare to see a band that sounds as good as their recorded album and this case even better).  Previously being in our own cover band a few years back we were very aware of how hard it can be to play to an audience without one of your band mates, particularly when they cover most of the lead vocals.  James "Jimmy" Dukenfield covered most of the vocals, while the rest of the band did what they normally do, get the audience foot stompin' and toe tapping, we both said to each other, if they sound like this what do they sound like with one more?  It just made us more excited to see them at Firefly.


At Firefly they did not disappoint.  Not only did they bring it, but they put in so much heart and soul, that even one of the event staff was dancing (which um, you just don't see, like ever!!! I did get a video of it, but I also picked up feedback from the speakers because of where I was standing, so if you want to see this fine man dancing checkout DelawareOnline's coverage). Red Frog was wise picking New Sweden to showcase Delaware while complimenting the other Americana headliners like Iron & Wine, The Lumineers and Band of Horses.   As I shared with band member, Chuck Knott when we ran into him amongst the crowd at Firefly, that they ranked in my top 3 bands to ever play this festival for sound and performance- first being the Black Keys, second being New Sweden and third, Jack White (and I believe the rain had a part in the sound not being as stellar for White, I mean he did end up performing in his bare feet).  Of course, I love seeing many of the bands' performances and enjoying all of them, but sound is a huge, you can put on a good show, a great show or an unforgettable show. These three bands were unforgettable!

Since Firefly, New Sweden has been busy doing shows around the surrounding region, and last week celebrated the release of their new EP Fabric Room at World Café Live at the Queen. I had the privilege of doing a question and answer in between all the chaos with New Sweden's Chuck Knott and here is what transpired:

Q- Your songs portray hard working men finding a balance between being a "man" and living their American dream, as you strive to reach this dream what do you do to earn a living?  
Chuck- I think we've all done odd jobs throughout growing up either just to get by or for the experience of it.  I've done everything from serving tables, running as a valet, driving a truck, busking on the street corner, and selling pot.  American dream right, haha?? That dream is different for everyone, but I think a matter of just striving for what you love while trying to keep your head afloat otherwise is kind of "dreamlike" in itself, and dreams aren't always balanced, nor American.  In fact, one of our best songs is about a couple meeting on a train in France, haha.

Q-Where did you come up with the name New Sweden, is there any correlation to Delaware being settled by the Swedish? 
Chuck-It's simply an abbreviation:  Never End While Something We Evoked Didn't Explode, Never

Q-What has been your favorite venue to play, and what venue would you like to play? 
Chuck- Every venue... that's the politically correct thing to say, right?  Festivals are always fun because you know you're playing to new people and the circus of it all makes it exciting.  Obviously venues with great sound systems (like the Queen Theatre where we just had our record release) are obviously preferable, but we've also had some gnarly good times playing when there's one blown monitor, we're sharing two beer soaked microphones, it's so goddamn hot that your strings are gonna be corroded from sweat by the end of the night, and all the while the girl in the "front row" is so close that you can smell what she had for lunch... but she's got a nice smile so it's ok.

Q-What was the first album you ever owned? And what influence, if any, did it have on you? 
Chuck-Phish.  And yes, it put me very much under the influence......... of loving live music.  Oh, what did you think I meant by that?

Q-What is your drink of choice? I know some musicians like whiskey, some beer, what is your preference and is there a particular brand?  
Chuck- Something that you have to order in an old timey accent from a guy with a handlebar mustache, slicked back hair and a bow-tie who always seems to be polishing a glass no matter how slow the bar is.  And you have to end every sentence with "Yeah, see...."

No I'm not too picky.  I enjoy a good dark beer with a bite but it's not unusual to find a few Keystone Lights in my backpack... you know, to keep hydrated.  

Q-During performances you guys switch instruments quite frequently, what instrument did  you first learn to play and what instrument do you prefer to play? 
Chuck- Started on the guitfiddle and then moved on to the trianglaphone, but I think my favorite is the sousasnare.  (In the words of Peppermint Patty, "Hey, Chuck, I see what you are doing here, I really like the Dr. Suess reference")

I started on guitar at age 9 and then slowly picked other ones up along the way, especially considering that once my parents' ran out of ideas of guitar related items to buy me for Christmas, they resorted to putting a banjo and ukelele under the tree.  So I figured I might as well learn how to play them, at least adequately (not gonna be ripping any scorching bluegrass banjo solos anytime soon, haha).  I wouldn't say I have a favorite, it's playing whatever the song needs that's most satisfying.  But I guess I'm still most comfortable on guitar, just because the two of us have had the longest relationship and don't hate each other yet.

Q-As someone who has tinkered with playing various instruments over the years, I personally love playing the guitar.  And while most of my friends dreamed of owning a Martin or Taylor, I started with a Gibson, which I love, but I wanted to own a Hofner guitar, the closest I came was a Hofner bass, do you have a dream instrument?
Chuck- Anything old and musty that you can tell has been played over the years.   I like old hollowbodies, like Guilds or Gibsons (was fortunate to find an old 1961 Guild on Craigslist last year which we used on the majority of Fabric Room), but anything weird and unique.  
Actually no, my dream instrument is anything and everything that stays in goddamn tune.

Q-If you could record with any one who would it be? 
Chuck- It would be a funky jazz record with Morgan Freeman, James Earl Jones, and Billy Crystal having an argument in the backround the entire time.  The running time will be 58:23.  It will be called Star Penguin Slickers.

Most of the people I'd like to record with are dead.  That's not really true, but I'd love to have been able to play with someone like Levon Helm who had the biggest "pocket feel" of any drummer ever in my book.  Truth though, recording with the guys from New Sweden has been a super enjoyable and fruitful experience, and everyone has a great ear and kept focus on "not over-doing it," so I guess the answer is simply "this band."

Q-Dave Grohl mentioned while playing with the Foo Fighters at Firefly that he spent a lot of time around these parts and that smell of Grotto's Pizza evoked a pleasurable nostalgia, is there any local food that satisfies your salivary glands in that way? 
Chuck-There's a lot of great restaurants around, but one that I've spent a boatload of time at, either playing, watching other local & traveling bands, or even bartending at from time to time, is The Blue Parrot, which unfortunately might close if they can't find a buyer since the owner is retiring to Mexico.  So a lot of those New Orleans style dishes definitely evoke a nostalgia, mostly pleasurable, but there have been some hazy nights, both at that restaurant and in New Orleans.  

Q-Who has been a mentor to you and what impact have they had on where you are today?  
Chuck- Well my pops taught me how to play guitar at age 9 and showed me songs and technique and kind of really helped me understand what makes a song or a band good.  And then when I wanted to explore other styles that he couldn't necessarily teach me, my parents sought out teachers that could facilitate that.  It's all about how good of a teacher you have.  So I would say beyond that, the first "elective" course I could take in high school I chose Music Theory, and the teacher I had there had a great sense of humor and really taught me the first things I knew about "why" music worked and let me dissect it a lot more.  No teacher or anyone has necessarily been a "mentor" in the Kill Bill sense that they took me under their wing for an extended period of time until I was a bonafide badass, but rather a bunch of people who each left a specific mark on my playing or outlook on this whole music thing.

Q-How did all of you meet and form the band?  
Chuck- I think Jimmy and Billy met at an open mic and started playing together and throwing songs back and forth.  Then, in a natural progression of a band "growing it's legs" they found Dan off of Craigslist to play bass and Jimmy knew a viola player, Caroline.  Then as the songs called for more percussion than a tambourine on the ground (which we still use, by the way), they asked Zac to come in, who had never really played before and grew as a musician as the band grew(the fiddle player) has since moved to Nashville because, well, if I were a fiddle player that's damn well sure where I'd go, haha, and we settled into the 5-piece that we are now.  (William Dobies, Chuck Knott, Dan Weirauch, James Dukenfield, and Zac Dukenfield). It allows for a lot more switching of instruments and everyone has kind of settled into the feel of the band now.

Q-Who was the first band you saw in concert? 
Chuck-The first was Aerosmith with Collective Soul when I was 11 or 12 at the Spectrum in Philly, the venue that still probably holds the record  for the place I've seen the most number of shows, either there or that big old concrete box over in Camden (whatever they're deciding to call it this year).  I want the dirty old Spectrum back.

As I said before, New Sweden just released the EP Fabric Room, I highly recommend you go buy or download your copy today! Kyle and I have been groovin' on it since Firefly and have now made our  three-year-old son a fan, he loves singing "1-2-3, 1-2-3" at the beginning of "All the Blue".  If you are interested in catching them out and about here is the schedule of upcoming shows:
 
July 19th*Dogfish Head, Rehoboth Beach, DE
July 20th,*Everhart Park, West Chester, PA
Sept. 21st*Save the Valley, Wilmington, DE
Oct. 26th*Sea Witch Halloween Fiddlers' Festival, Rehoboth Beach, DE
 






 












Saturday, June 14, 2014

Deep in 300 Hundred Acre Woods, where Dave Grohl and Foo Fighters will play, you'll find an enchanted neighborhood, with 80,000 others' reliving their childhood days


A word to the wise, in its' inaugural year Firefly Music Festival only spanned 87 acres of the Woodlands; now, it encompasses 300 acres, so the following is just not ho-hum advice from a festival fan and Delaware native, but things that could help save your life and keep your sanity while you traverse the 300 acres with 80,000+ people.

To enter:
-your Firefly wristband
-cash
-credit/debit card
-Government issued photo I.D.


What to pack daily in your small carrybag (16"x16"x8"):
1.  Empty Bottle for water. Stay hydrated.
2.  A sandwich bag with toilet tissue or Kleenex. Better to be safe than having to use leaves to wipe     your arse.
3. Flip flops/Sandals and an extra pair of socks.  Do not wear these on your way in, bring them to change into when you are halfway through your day and decide to take a break. Then switch back into your other comfortable shoes (*recommended-sneakers, Wellingtons/rainboots, Docs)
4. Bandaids and Moleskins.  300 acres is lots of walking no matter what shoes you have decided to wear. Do not rely on all the first aid stations and EMTs to fix your blisters, they have plenty of other serious issues to deal with than boo boo blisters.
5. Trash bag or poncho.  A trash bag is my version of a makeshift poncho, it serves two purposes though...as poncho, or just to keep your butt clean and dry when you decide to take a nap on the ground while listening to a concert.
6. Wet Ones.  Sanitize.
7. Suntan lotion and a hat/bandana.  Yes it is in the woods, but also open fields, where you are exposed to the sun. Keep yourself protected and *remember no aerosol suntan lotion permitted inside.
8. Bug repellent (no aerosol).

Be prepared for the Woodlands!  As a Delaware native and local, I can assure you that it has rained the entire week prior to Firefly, what that means for Firefly fans is this:
-MUD- do not try to look cute, dress comfortably.  For women this means put aside your sandals and grab those Wellington rainboots, Crocs, Birkenstocks and sneakers. Also, last year we had rain prior to the festival and to prevent an area from becoming a muddy mess, a lot of mulch was put down (this area had a pungent smell and made you feel like you were walking drunk even when you had not had a sip of alcohol).  *Your pretty little shoes will get ruined, you will get blisters, you may even sprain your ankle...so take this advice and DO NOT spend 4 days walking 300 acres with a sore ankle.

-MOSQUITOES AND OTHER BUGS- when we have large amounts of rain you can expect it creates large breeding grounds for bugs, particularly mosquitoes.  Prepare yourself, invest in bug spray. *Do not worry mixed with your coconut suntan lotion you won't stink. Well, at least not until day 3, but it won't be for this reason.

-CAMPING PEEPS- bring extra jugs and bottles of water to wash off with...yes there are showers, but you may have to walk long distances and wait in long lines to get them. Some Wet Ones could help in this predicament too.

-HUMIDITY- Delaware gets pretty humid, by that I mean that an 80 degree day can quickly feel like 100 degrees.  Just imagine walking around with a wet towel laying just an inch above your face and the steam smothering you, another reason to stay hydrated.

-FOOD- I am sure you have stocked up on all your favorite junk food, but you may want to pack a few things like bananas, granola bars and crackers.  I cannot stress enough to stay hydrated...I watch fans drop every year to dehydration and heat exhaustion. In between your alcohol consumption remember to refuel your water bottle at the refilling stations and you could also get a blast of fresh berry and fruit goodness at Greenman Juice Bar (*this is not only my sister-in-law, Rachel and brother-in-law, Jeremy's juice bar, but their juices are chocked full of nutrients and vitamins that your party-going body needs in these conditions).

Lastly, be courteous to everyone!  Be mindful, not everyone is prepared as they think they are for an event like this...you are sharing the Woodlands with 80,000+ other people.  Remember to thank all the event staff: Red Frog, the musicians, the volunteers, the vendors, as well as all the Delaware staff involved- EMTs, police officers, DelDOT, and all the Delawareans who are sharing this part of their state with you! (I apologize now for anyone I left out, please feel free to add in the comments).

Now, download the Firefly app, make your schedule and have fun!





Saturday, January 11, 2014

Secretly I am an SNL writer

Okay so I admit I'm not a writer for SNL and realistically probably never will be, but a girl can always dream right? And why not dream big?


Some people listen to music and have a groove session, and yeah sometimes I throw on a old skool cd, like Hole and belt out, "And the sky was made of amethyst and all the stars were just like little fish". (And then I hate myself for a minute, because I realize I am singing along to the woman I believe is at least partly responsible for the death of hero, Kurt Cobain). I realize I have a shit voice, which I  have accepted.  I still sing anyway, because a wise uncle told me (Thomas Callahan), it is good for the soul.  But then there are those times where my dreams collide it occurs when the music ignites my writing soul.  That is when I whip up these antics and dream up surreal SNL skits-that make  my soul burn with laughter.


Recently I shared one on my Facebook page, which was brought on by Beastie Boys "Boomin' Granny".  Most people know Beastie Boys for their more popular songs like "Brass Monkey" and "Fight for Your Right". Beastie Boys were amazing- in one word their success screams- IRONY.  I mean thinking back on it, who would have ever paired these New York Jewish rappers on Madonna's "Like a Virgin Tour"? Yeah, that is one of those silly facts I know...and yes, yes they did open for Madonna.  And I say, "were" amazing, because sadly, Adam Yauch aka MCA, passed away in 2012.


Now speaking of Jewish rappers, Andy Samberg brought to SNL some witty and amazing raps on SNL digital shorts.  So when I am listening to "Boomin' Granny" on my way into work and thinking about how awesome the upcoming SNL is going to be because Jimmy Fallon is hosting and Justin Timberlake is the musical guest, I can't help but envision them doing this skit of "Boomin' Granny" with special guest, Betty White as the granny (for so many reasons, and if you have seen her host SNL you know one of them) and bringing on, Andy Samberg, Fallon and Timberlake as the Beastie Boys.  There would be so much "good n' plenty" I think I seriously would have peed my big girl panties.


Now with that story explained I must now explain my most recently invented skit after watching 47 Ronin.  First of all I must explain that I don't know what kind of contract Keanu Reeves' manager/agent was able to secure for him for this film, because well let's just say his character is a completely Disney-fied made up piece of bullshit to the original Ronin story.  Anyway I admit when my husband showed interest in seeing this film I was a little apprehensive, but I'm drawn to stories of Asian cultures (I'm known to watch obscure Korean, Japanese and Chinese movies with subtitles, including Monkey-just imagine an Asian version of Xena, but about a boy named Monkey).  I watched the trailers and thought okay, it might not be that bad, and I am warning you now, do not be tricked as I was...the cinematography and special effects are brilliant, but the story falls short. 


Now I won't spoil the film or the story, just say that as you can imagine this story is filled with fight scenes, one of which includes a character who is a little on the chubby side having a death scene and Reeves' character sitting by his bedside.  The chubby character tells Kai (Reeves), who is an outcast of the village and lives in a hut that he is sorry for throwing stones at his head when they were children.  And Kai in a serious tone replies, "I always knew it was you, I could see your belly sticking out from the tree".  Now what is funny is that this is not just out of place humor in the film, but that it became quite obvious to me that Reeves' training for this film seemed to be drinking beer and was a little chubby himself.  Now I am not one to poke fun at weight, as I have always struggled with my own weight, however, if you are going to create a blockbuster film, you need your star actor to look the part.  Reeves did not look fit at all for this film. I'm just saying it is like the difference between Christian Bale and Michael Keaton playing Batman...do you get my meaning? 


So when the film ended and we were discussing our thoughts on the film, I shared how ridiculous I thought that part was...and said seriously I could so see this being a commercial trailer on SNL.  I could see Kenan Thompson playing the chubby character dying and a guest host, maybe even Reeves himself, play Kai. But having the dying character reply why he wasn't cast for his role as Kai.  It is seriously like when Mark Wahlberg delivers a line in a film, that if anyone else said it, it would just sound completely disjointed and wrong, but because Wahlberg says it, it comes across badass.


I know this blog is all over the place, but to understand how I get to these SNL skits, you have to have some back story here and there.  And yes, if you are wondering I have submitted skits in the past to SNL via email.  If any of you remember the T-Mobile commercial  a few Christmases ago promoting 4G with a bunch of elves and found yourself doing a double take of the television to clarify that you didn't just hear little elves on your TV saying "Orgy" you were not alone.  I wrote to SNL saying I could totally see them creating an SNL commercial, like the Fifty Shades of Grey one they did for Amazon.  And I also wrote them a skit about having Kenan Thompson  playing CeeLo Green on the Voice and just poking fun at the fact that CeeLo had a parrot on his shoulder and was always rubbing his white socks on the chair legs and never wearing shoes. Now I will say they may not of done the skit as I wrote it in, but that was the SNL episode where Melissa McCarthy hosted and plays a contestant on the Voice and Thompson comes on stage as Cee Lo to talk to McCarthy about getting their parrots and getting out of there.  So I will keep dreaming, submitting and laughing out loud along the way!!!