"Hey Buzz, Lewis Carroll would have loved you" B-sides and infinite gladness

So I started this entry about six years ago, you see sometimes I just have thoughts that I need to pen down or even type out, but decide for different reasons that it isn't time.  This one, was personal, and it wasn't ready to be written, it needed time to brew and simmer.

Maybe I'm feeling the need for live music, and a concert, and because of Covid-19 that simply isn't happening. So I've turned to my album collection and began to reminisce about this love I have for music.  Haven't we all turned to music to help comfort us in this time of trouble?  So in thinking about times of trouble and words of wisdom, yes, you now have a Paul McCartney ear worm stuck in your head let's talk about B-sides?

B-sides? What is she talking about?  So way back in the day, music was recorded and sold on vinyl records (I know, vinyl is making a slight comeback, and b-sides were also on 45s).  Essentially record companies were looking for a way to profit more from a single, otherwise referred to as the A-side of an album. Songs selected for the A-side were those that were radio-friendly, climbing the charts, and originally intended as the single or album covers to be sold.  The B-sides were songs selected that were not originally intended for the album.  Today, these have become known or referred too often as bonus tracks.  For me, they are the hidden gems on the album.

I mean think about, how many of you actually still buy albums? I know that I am one of the few that still do.  (Yes, I still buy CDs, full albums). I do not purchase songs or tracks, I purchase the album.  Why?  Well because for me it is like the difference between buying one chapter of a book. You simply wouldn't read chapter 6, without reading the beginning or ending of a novel.  Albums are the same way.  Songs are written word with rhythm, rhyme, and a dope beat. Albums are carefully crafted, songs aren't just laid down with how they were written, but with a thought process.  You don't want to listen to the first half of an album with nothing but slow songs, you need a mixture and it has to be carefully selected.

Okay, so for argument's sake, let's start with a song that many of us are probably feeling right now.  "Revolution" by the Beatles was originally a B-side.  No matter what side of things you are on politically during this pandemic, many of us can agree with these lyrics,' You say you want a revolution, Well, you know, We all want to change the world, You tell me that it's evolution , Well, you know, We all want to change the world, But when you talk about destruction, Don't you know that you can count me out, Don't you know it's gonna be, All right, All right, All right..."  So you say your not a Beatles fan, what about the Stones, The Rolling Stones "You Can't Always Get What You Want".  I know some of us, might be singing this one to ourselves as we hit the grocery store right now looking for our preferred brand of toilet paper, "we just might have to get what we need".  

For real though, B-sides are songs of infinite gladness.  I grew up in the 80s and 90s, which is full of iconic music and when I think of B-sides, I think of ordering countless cassette tapes from Columbia Records, or running to Sam Goody to purchase the latest album of a favorite band.  I really miss wearing out cassette tapes from either overplaying the entire cassette or rewinding it to that song you just wanted to sing along to again and again.  If you grew up during this time, you know what it was like to keep a pencil nearby so you could fix the tape,  and you also know what it was like to have a CD skip in a car.   But one of my favorite things about this time was getting a mixed tape from a friend filled with B-sides.  So in honor of a B-side mixed tape, here you go...

1-Talk Show Host by Radiohead (*if you listen closely in Baz Luhrmann's Romeo & Juliet you will catch a bit of this song)

2- Starla by Smashing Pumpkins (*if you hated the Pumpkins, listen to the full 11 minutes of this one)

3- Now by Edie Brickell 

4- Half the World Away by Oasis 

5- Good Riddance by Green Day 

6- Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl Jam

7- How Soon is Now by the Smiths

8- Another Journey by Train by the Cure

9- Bullet the Blue Sky by U2

10- Man Who Sold the World  by David Bowie

One Room School House

Octagonal "One Room" School House
Cowgills Corner Delaware-1836

So as some of you know I have been working hard the past year on my MAT (Master of Arts in Teaching) at Wesley College. As the summer comes to an end and we enter the fall season, I will be starting the student teaching portion of the program.  Many people have asked me, "Are you nervous?" The obvious reply is of course, I think everyone gets at least a little nervous before embarking on a new adventure in their grand journey in life. However, my excitement to learn trumps the nerves very quickly.  You see, I believe that we set up our own barriers in life, thanks to the help and education of my late father-in-law, Rod Bullock (and this stems from Larry Wilson's book, Play to Win), once we realize that barrier doesn't really exist, we can move forward and achieve what we thought was impossible.  I had been putting off enrolling in the MAT program for a few years, then one morning on my drive to work it hit me, what was I doing? Sure, I could continue to work as an assistant manager at the bookstore, but I knew I could make a stronger impact as an educator and the only thing keeping me from pursuing that career was me.  I wanted to take a moment and share with those who know what I have been working towards and those who didn't my thoughts as I take these final steps towards my certification to be an educator.

Octagonal School House
National Registry of Historic Places 1971

During the course of the MAT program, I have had the opportunity to really reflect on my own education over the years and consider what I learned from those experiences and really help me determine what I want to carry with me.  One of the things I realized is that I was very fortunate and had several teachers who allowed me to explore not only the subject they were teaching me, but also the world around me. This began with my kindergarten teacher, Ms. Jill Mears, her teaching had a profound impact on how I felt about school.  It is pretty ironic, because if you ask my mother what my first reaction to school was (and this would be after my first day, with Ms. Mears), she will tell you I came home and said, "I am never going back there, they don't know what they are talking about".  My mom convinced me to give it another try by telling me that if I didn't go that the authorities would come and take her away.  Needless to say this worked, and I was thankful (to still have my mother by my side and school).  The things that stick out in my mind that I learned that year were: I got to finger-paint with chocolate pudding (you can paint with more than a brush or painter's knife), learned shapes by creating animals (she had us take a bar of  Dove soap and wrap it in netting to resemble a fish and adorned it with sequins- ovals), she had us read to an alien (stuffed, of course) before we read to our principal, Mrs. Scott (this gave us confidence and taught us not to fear authority, our principal was someone who should be respected), we had guest musicians (I recall my friend, Meagan Reilly's dad coming in and playing the French horn), we had a mini in-class greenhouse where we watched plants grow and be nurtured daily, we went on two field trips (one to see trees be tapped to make maple syrup and one to Bombay Hook to discover nature first hand, I remember scooping tadpoles) and we re-enacted Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream.  And these were just the big highlights, I also remember loving to play kitchen/house, read the Mr./Mrs. books aka Mrs. Silly, Mrs. Chatterbox, etc. and of course, recess. Mind you all of this was back when there was only 1/2-day kindergarten, and yes, we did all of those things above and more!  Ms. Mears taught me then that learning was fun and creative, and school was a place I wanted to be.

I have had several other teachers along the way who helped me explore my world and made learning something that was not to fear.  So I must take a minute and thank a few of those now: Ms. Roth/Messer, Ms. Chadwick, Ms. Parks, Mr. Filichiccia, Ms. Meek, Ms. Surles, the late Mr. Everett, the late Ms. Carter, Mr. Shalk, Mr. Prillaman, Ms. Bonner and Mr. Shotzberger, as well as, so many of my college professors, particularly Dr. Mask, Professor Cisar, Dr. Laganella, Dr. Cooper and Dr. Clack (these particular professors helped push me further in their particular field to places I did not know I was capable of going). And I must not forget to mention the late principal, Mr. Dickerson, who made it a point to not only know every student's name but know every student.

 Now I must take a moment and talk about the one thing I realized I definitely want to try to encourage not only with my future students, but also my fellow educators.  When I reflected back on my education, I realized that along the way I had a few teachers, that were more than just teachers (this happened in college with almost every professor I had, but in high school was where I realized it had a larger impact).  Ms. Bonner and Mr. Shotzberger were teachers that became mentors, they guided you in your learning by showing they cared about you, which helped further build confidence in yourself.  Ms. Bonner taught me the power of writing, the two things I think of when I think of her journalism class: "the pen is mightier than the sword" and write "all the news that's fit to print".  She also helped me learn the importance of word choice and growing your vocabulary.  Mr. Shotzberger aka Shotz taught me so many things, but ultimately that there is more than one way to approach and solve a problem, but the key is to have a plan. And once complete it is important to evaluate the end result and ask yourself is there anything you could have done differently or that would work better?  How did he do this?  First of all, we started with thumbnail sketches, next we executed the project, then we did a self-evaluation, and then we allowed our peers to evaluate our work. These two teachers took the time to get to know you as a student, subtly they asked you what your goals were, where did you want to go in life and they began guiding you in those directions.  Both of these teachers knew I wanted to go to college, both knew I was capable, but both knew that financially this was not something I was going to do straight out of high school. (And I must mention something I think is vitally important here, neither of these teachers had this as a "college talk", the key word is this all occurred through subtle conversations).  They knew that I had a pen pal in Australia, they encouraged me to have an open-mind and explore the world, that school was always something that would be there waiting for me.  And guess what? They were right. Unlike most of my peers, I did not take the traditional route to college, I got a job in retail, saved my money and traveled. I went to Australia, and then, Australia again, with a side trip to London. Then I put myself through cosmetology school, worked in that industry for 7 years. While working in that industry, guess what, I started college.  I was a non-traditional college student, I started by taking a summer class, and in 5 years completed my undergraduate degree in Liberal Studies.   Proving my teachers were right, college would always be there, and I was capable!  This is what I want my future students to know, that there are endless opportunities, that you are capable (as long as you are willing to put in the effort and hard work) and that there is always something new to learn. 

The world is an amazing place to explore and discover yourself! I only hope that I can help my future students know that I can learn as much from them as they can from me. And I also want them to know the importance of thanking those who helped you get to where you are, so thank you to everyone!!!

Life is Complicated

While everyone else is up in arms about what Trump is doing I’m over here thinking about the complexities of life. The ones that make us human not machines.  I’ve had a few conversations recently with friends of my generation who have shared this sentiment, “I thought life was supposed to get easier as we get older”.  Unfortunately it’s not, and this is where I have to remind myself life is complicated.  Otherwise I’d be shouting that line from the movie Empire Records, “Damn the man!”

I feel all of us at some point feel trumped down in life or by life at times. So I’ve come up with some “Damn the man!” reminders.

1-Be kind. Remind yourself, life is complicated.  A friend recently posted this quote, “Be kind, you don’t know what someone else is going through.” This is so true.  So be kind, lend a ear, sometimes we need compassion. Also be kind to yourself.

2- Love nature. I can’t emphasize this one enough. Go for a walk, put your feet in the sand, and embrace the world around you.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Live in the ocean, swim in the sea, drink the wild air”.

3- Savor time.  Savor every second like it is the finest morsel of food you have ever devoured. Time can be like a boiling pot of water. If you are waiting for something to come time seems to slow down, but when you are truly living it just flies by…my where has the time gone.

4- Be honest.  Be true with yourself accept your flaws alongside your strengths. No one is perfect, and there is always someone that can do it better. You are your own worst critic.

5-Forgive. Remember we are all on a journey, each with its’ own obstacles. Emerson also once said, “ Life is a journey, not a destination”. The obstacles or road bumps along our journey are what shape and mold us.  The obstacles help us grow not just as individuals, but also as humanity.

Life is very complicated, so garden your relationships. Why? Relationships are something all of us have, but they can be very complex. Sure some relationships are easy, but the good ones, the ones who are with you for a lifetime, those are the complex ones. The ones you fight for and cherish in a way that cannot be defined in words.  This dawned on me as I watched an interview with Jada Pinkett Smith on her relationship with Tupac. She described their relationship as, “It was beyond friendship…the type of relationship we had you only get once in a lifetime”. To help each other in our journeys we must learn to accept the complicated obstacles and help one another for the betterment of all humanity.

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail”- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Summer “Schooling”

So every year as the school year comes to an end, many of us find ourselves counting down until summer break, but have you ever caught yourself complaining?  Now there are several things we might find ourselves complaining about, for instance, “Why is it that as soon as summer break hits my kids have no problem waking up at the crack of dawn?” Or, how about your teacher friend saying, “I really am thankful the school year is over, but I need routine!” As a teacher as I started my first day of summer break, I decided that it was going to start with routine. And that this routine was going to maximize my son waking at the “crack of dawn.” So I was bound and determined to start of my summer break doing something that I longed to do, something that I needed to do, and something my son would benefit from, and that was starting our day with a walk in nature.

Now you might ask why?  Why was walking in nature so important?  Well for starters I wouldn’t be writing this right now, my walk from this morning brought fresh ideas to my head and I needed to pen them down.  So here I am sharing what I think is so vital to educators, teachers, and parents.   Some may think this is just for parents, but those are not the only ones that are affected by this.  You see on my walk this morning, I quickly realized as a teacher and a mother that summer is not a break for us to stop learning.  Believe it or not, my six-year-old son shared with me his thoughts about the book, The Giving Tree.  We were near the end of our walk at the time this conversation started, but he said to me, “Mom, that story isn’t real, that tree it doesn’t exist does it?” And I responded, “Well, it is a story, so it is fake, it is to help teach us a lesson about nature and life”. He said, “Yes, but mom it isn’t real, it didn’t happen”.  I explained to him, that it is fiction, and he said, “But fiction is real, and it’s not.” And I replied, “Fiction is fake, non-fiction is real”.  And it was at that moment that I realized just how amazing this walk had been not only for me, but also for him.  Here I am a 10^th grade English Language Arts teacher, who teaches the differences between fiction and non-fiction all year long.  And yet, here my six-year-old son is having this philosophical conversation about these differences with Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree.  Now, some of you might be thinking, but you are an English teacher of course you will talk to your child like this.  And I must say that as a teacher and parent, we long to be able to talk to our kids this way, but the reality is that the opportunity has to arise.  How can such an opportunity arise if nothing is there to engage it?  And hence, this is why we must rethink and redefine our summer break to summer “schooling”.  We must not let our children have a break from learning.

You see it came to me during this walk, that we must break the stigma that we have tied to “summer school”.  By creating this stigma that “summer school” is a bad thing, we have also taught them that summer is a “break” from learning.  Now some of you are saying, but they need the break and they still get socialized learning.  And I would agree with you; however, children must also see summer as “schooling”.  What I mean by this is that there is just as much for children to learn in the summer as there is throughout the traditional school year.  I decided months ago that my son was not getting the summer off from school.  And I have taken some heat from others about it.  What do I say in my defense, “That he needs to continue to practice what he has learned, so that he doesn’t revert at all”.  However, I realized this morning, that it is not simply maintaining the skills he has learned, but also continuing his education.

Truthfully, this discovery did not just occur out of the blue on this first morning walk of the summer with my son.  I had actually been thinking about this for some time, I knew I needed to map out a routine for summer.  I remembered how helpful nature walks were in the past, they allowed me time to clear my head, sort my thoughts, and the most beneficial part to them was how much inspiration they gave me.  Ah-ha! Yes, you see the reason I am writing this now, is because it was all inspired by my walk this morning.  As several teachers gathered together on the last day to celebrate another year in the books, some of us talked about going on hikes a few times a week.  And I thought to myself, why wait to do it just a few times, this needs to be a daily routine.  And I know some of you are already thinking, but it is so hot in the summer and I hate being hot.  Okay, but remember you must be the example to your student and that means even as a parent, your child is also your student!

The walk we took this morning was 2 miles or two loops. Throughout the walk I explained to my son that we would walk the two loops and afterwards he could play in the playground at the park.  I kept reminding him that in order to “Play hard” we must “work hard”.  So if we were able to make our two laps then he could play in the playground.  Now, here is the teacher as parent part, when you promise your child something, be sure to remind him of the limits.  So, as we finished the last loop, I said, “Okay, now we can go to the playground, but before we enter, remember that you only have 15 minutes, so when we enter the playground I will check the time and count down from there”.  So as my son played and played, I kept checking in with him reminding him you have ten minutes, 7 minutes, 3 minutes.  And some of you may ask, why is she sharing this, well it is always important to establish rules and keep to them.  It is also critical to check in with children and give them reminders. You might be really surprised to discover you will have less meltdown.

So I hope you enjoy your summer and all the discoveries you will encounter along the way!